If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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