Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
