they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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