I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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