I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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