I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
