You're so nebulous sometimes
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize