Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
