We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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