I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
