no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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