Little spoons don't ask big questions
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
