we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
