come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
