What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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