I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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