Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
