I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
