so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
