we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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