Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
