This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
