No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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