Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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