how can u be prego again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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