We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
