Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
