Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
