I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
