"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
