you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
