dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
