everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
