btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
