so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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