I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
