It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
