some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
porn star boner night. come get it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
