I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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