I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
