id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
