if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
