Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Randomize
