What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
