.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
