I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
