Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
