That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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