i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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