We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
