I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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