i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize