why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
