1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
