My first STD was from a foam party
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
