dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
