Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
