She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize