This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
